Mary Brown's Odyssey: My Friday.....

TGIF....Friday fun days:

I cannot resist posting about two events that took place this Friday. Hey, BTW, has anyone missed me? I will admit I have been derelict in my duties. Anyways, first thing Friday morning I get a text from rugrat number "4". Wait a minute. I need to give you a little background info on her. She is on a "diet" and is doing very good with it. I am proud of her. She is a walking anomaly. Her dog "Schotzie" is not real happy with her right now because she makes her walk with her. So back to the text...At 7:30 a.m. my cell phone goes bzzz bzzzz. I pick it up to see who is texting me this early in the morning and it is number "4" and she says, "Thanks ever so much Mom. Your grandson just came in the bathroom, squeezed my side and said, "I just squeezing your love handles". Just when I thought I could tell I was sheddin a few pounds". I, at this moment lost it. See, my oldest grand-rugrat has the most awesome, lovable, squeezable love handles in the world that I claim ownership of and he knows it and is proud of it. For those of you who don't know where love handles are located they are the part of your body that is towards the backside above your hips and are really, really squishy!!! Kind of like, or part of a muffin top. Just sayin!!!!

The one with the most AWESOME love handles
EVER!!!!!!

So after I get myself under control from my outburst of uncontrolled laughter I finish getting ready for work at the "Law Office". I am now at work and working with the "main man" and my cell phone starts ringing, dingle dingle ding. I look at it and say s$%t, only because I cannot answer it and I see it is my middle rugrat. You see my middle rugrat usually doesn't call me at work unless it is an emergency. But you have to understand what the meaning of an "emergency" is in her mind. It is usually not the type of "emergency" that means someone is injured or there was an accident or someone is sick....blahblahblah...her emergencies are like the one I blogged about this winter when we were in the greatest snow and ice storm of the century and she made the one that she loves go out and knock the ice off of the satellite dish. Are you following me. But back to the call. I am a bit concerned that she did call. I was not able to get back with her until early afternoon. Our conversation goes something like this:

Me: Hey you called earlier. Is everything OK?

Middle Rugrat: Well it is right now but I neeeeeeeded youuuuuu.

Me: What happened?

Middle Rugrat: There was a lady pounding on my front door.

Me: Well, what did she want? (Now remember my middle rugrat lives way out in the country on a long desolate country road and she doesn't get too many callers).

Middle Rugrat: She was crying and she told me she just ran over one of our chickens. WahWah Wah!!!

Me: OK. HeeeHeeeHeee. And.....HeeeHeeeHeeee!!!!!!!!!!

Middle Rugrat: Mooooooooooom its not funny. We didn't think she killed it and the man that she loves could not come home at that time and kill it and I neeeeeeeded you to come up here and shoot it!!!!!!!!

Me: HeeeHeeeHeeeHeeeeHeee!!! So what happened to the chicken? HeeeeeHeeeeHeeee!!!

Middle Rugrat: It ended up being dead. And mom, did you know that she defeathered it and skinned it when she ran over it and it looked just like a chicken you would buy in the store.

Me: HeeeeHeeeeHeeee ....

I have completely lost my composure!!!!!

Me: Hey middle one....I would have put the chicken out of her misery the good ol' fashioned way. I would have taken an ax to her poor little neck!!!!!

I do believe that the "main man" at the "Law Office" didn't get too much more work out of me the rest of the day. The innocence of my children.